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It was when class ended. Joe handed me , and on our way out, I notd a watercolor. The artist said he was a professional pumpkin carver who sometimes painmurals. I said I was a writer doing this for research. Then I paid him the Iowa Hawkeyes Women’s Final Four Stack Shirt and by the same token and money I’d earned for his painting and proceeded out into the New York night. On our way out, I notd a watercolor. A portrait of Granger from her modeling session.
I had done something I never would have done if my Iowa Hawkeyes Women’s Final Four Stack Shirt and by the same token and father were alive. I had done it because he wasn’t. I was going to one day have a partner and kids he would never meet. I was going to hang a nude picture of myself in my bathroom because he would never see it. I was going to tell my mom that I posed for a roomful of strangers and she would shake her head in disbelief. I was going to walk to a bar with Jack, who would beam with admiration. I’m so in love with you, he’d say. I was going to do all these things that felt good and scary to do, and I was going to grow into a person my father might not even recognize.
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